rebeccakuder

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds (Wild God tour, Columbus, Ohio, May 2, 2025)

blurry photo of bottom half of man carrying umbrella, city sidewalk.
(Seems fitting this was the only photograph I took that night. Photo taken by accident. Husband carries umbrella.)

(Having seen Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the Wild God tour, at the Palace Theater in Columbus, Ohio, on May 2, 2025:)

Early in the show, a horrid cough erupts from stage left. Warren Ellis is not well, Nick Cave says. Please, whatever you do, don’t let Warren Ellis lick your face. A bit later, Nick Cave says, Warren Ellis is dying onstage in Columbus.

But thank goodness, Nick Cave is wrong.

Warren Ellis alternates postures: hunched in his chair; standing upon said chair to perform feats of magic; rotating an arm like a propellor, like it might break and fly off; playing the strings off his bow (literally); and blowing and throwing copious kisses to the audience. No face licking that I can see, and thank Wild God—Warren Ellis makes it to the end of the show (and beyond, apparently, to play another day).

Early in the show, Nick Cave says to the audience: You don’t know whether to stand or kneel. And it’s true; he’s exactly right…and later he says, You’re so far away…they put these chairs in here…

Nick Cave gives himself to the audience, connects viscerally and physically (holds many hands, walks or is raised above shoulders and heads) and gives himself, most of all, through sound.

I first learned of Nick Cave when I saw Wings of Desire, in 1987. (One more song and it’s over. But I’m not gonna tell you about a girl, I’m not gonna tell you about a girl… “I wanna tell you about a girl…”)

The merch line snakes through the lobby and the hallway and up the stairs toward the heavens…

So much light. And still Nick Cave is willing to acknowledge the darkness. Willing to be in it. To give sorrow its due respect.

The artist Nick Cave is a mesmerizing combination of parts—crooner, punk, poet, musician, showman, trickster…little kid up to no good, devil, preacher, broken-but-still-here father, lover, human.

Before the show, we find our seats and settle in, watch others arrive…it’s a wild mix of humanity, dressed in velvet or all black or leather or dapper suits, tattooed or costumed or some, outwardly ‘normal’…everyone seems to step a bit more lightly than they would on a normal day, a time for celebration…the air is pixie-dusted, and people are glowing, breathless, as if awaiting some revival, which, suddenly, is how the night feels to me…A revival where the preacher refuses to hide his beef with god, and will make brilliance with whatever mileage and heartbreak have somehow not yet broken his spirit. Nick Cave aims to show us the light, which is still there, still here, despite all this pain. (Exhibit A: “Joy“.)

Nick Cave loves us, he says, not in the meet-up-later-by-the-stage-door kind of way, but loves in the collective, in the abstract but very real…a sky-filling notion of love…Nick Cave is such a peculiar and specific person, like any of us, but also not like any of us, a human willing to share and show off what he has inside, an alchemist to perform transmogrification of suffering, whatever viscera he has inside, still beating. (Exhibit B: “I Need You“.)

So we adherents to this complicated, messy preacher and his messy, gorgeous crew marvel and sing along as Warren Ellis continues to defy Nick Cave’s false prophesy, continues to beat and bow well enough and to kick over the mic stand, to do what must be the opposite onstage, of dying…to slump and rest when needed, and wipe sweat from his face and then like a gorgeous, terrible monster, fully vivify himself to jump back up on his chair and kick and twirl till someone comes to save him from the instrument’s umbilical cord…a whirling gymnastic which Warren Ellis easily survives, and lives on to tear the errant hairs from his bow.

It’s not just those two, it’s the Bad Seeds plus a celestial choir in silver, artists all called together to make this machine—the machine the artists are making in front of us keeps going because each part is All In and still breathing, each is still doing each part, still vivid and vivified and the show must go on because we need it and because the artists too must keep cheating death, must continue to not die on stage in Columbus, Ohio, and some of them might truly be unwell but all keep making music and mopping brows and keep not dying…just don’t let Warren Ellis lick your face.

But to be perfectly frank, I would let Warren Ellis lick my face, if I could get close enough to him, if only he would ask, I would turn my cheek to him, let the living spread across the skin to infect me. The cumulative energy of everyone onstage and everyone here, those who are here in this beautiful moment infects the room, and the illumination for we the devoted is infectious, even back here in row U, where we and you are all human, and human together. You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, Nick Cave et al sing, and we sing it back, the truest call and response. It’s all we can do, just be human together right here in row U. It’s all we can do right now, and right now, it’s enough.

rebeccakuder

Resources for the college search

photo of pond, blue sky reflecting in the water

I want to share some resources that our family found helpful in the process of choosing where and how to apply for college. (Our public library carries these books—you certainly don’t have to buy them unless you want to.)

Where to start? We started with COLLEGES THAT CHANGE LIVES.
This is a book by Loren Pope, and a website. (This is particularly helpful for people interested in liberal arts colleges.) From the website: “CTCL was founded on a philosophy of building the knowledge, character and values of young people by introducing them to a personalized and transformative collegiate experience. Although the member colleges approach this challenge with varying perspectives, institutional missions, and pedagogical strategies, a student-centered mission is common to all campuses.” And: “The Colleges That Change Lives, Inc. (CTCL) story begins in 1996 when a book by the same name — Colleges That Change Lives — was published by retired New York Times education editor and journalist Loren Pope. A longtime student advocate and independent college counselor, Mr. Pope sought to change the way people thought about colleges by dispelling popularly held myths and challenging the conventional wisdom about college choice. His groundbreaking ideals were welcomed by students and the college counseling community alike. As a result, many of the colleges featured in the book began working together to further promote this philosophy of a student-centered college search. In 1998 the CTCL organization was formally organized, independent of Mr. Pope (although with his blessing) and his publisher.”

Where else to go? THE FISKE GUIDE, by Edward B. Fiske. This is a regularly-updated, near-encyclopedia of colleges (large and small and in between). Extra helpful is information for each college that was gleaned from actual students. (Much more helpful than simply perusing a college’s website.)

Then when you are ready for more, check out the illuminating THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR COLLEGE, by Ron Lieber. Here you will learn various practical considerations and other ineffables (beyond ‘price’). Such as, don’t assume public colleges will be more affordable than private colleges! This book demystified the sometimes unnerving and weird intricacies of the college business, as well as how to appeal a college funding package (need-based or merit-based—and yes, people do that, and are sometimes successful, which I did not know).

Along the way, the college-bound person will need to write a college application essay. Maybe your college-bound person has ample confidence about how to do this (‘this’, meaning to write an 650 word essay that aims to convince a stranger to not only let them in to college, but offer huge funding…but no pressure!). If your person would benefit from some help, please check out The CAPE Crusade: Your Guide to a Great College Application Personal Essay by Billy Lombardi. This book is great for anyone who wants to write a personal essay (not only for college applications). I have written many personal essays, and I, too, found this book helpful! It’s like a workshop in a book, and offers the reader/writer great ways to get to known themselves better, what they care about, and who they are. In addition to offering step-by-step, life-affirming advice, it alleviates pressure on the reader/writer. I could go on and on! But I must at least say that using even parts of this book—to write an essay without the use of AI—will help a college-bound human feel more confident in their ability to navigate personal storytelling, and the writing process in general. Which will help them be more prepared for college. This book is seriously great!

(Please please please don’t let them resort to using AI!)

(p.s. If you know a college-bound person who might want support in the writing process, please do contact me for more information. And please check out Dear Inner Critic: a self-doubt activity book, which will be handy for college applicants and others!)

(p.p.s. And parents/families: Please remember to attend to your own inner game.)

rebeccakuder

A few bits of light

Clifton Gorge State Park, January 2025

Dear humans,

Here we are. Still here. Sometimes I wiggle my toes to remind myself I am still here, in a body, breathing, surviving. I’ve been in conversations with friends about the current situation and how to stay grounded, sane (?), etc. I don’t have any answers. Sometimes I’m able to imagine that it’s possible to cope. Sometimes self-care feels like an impossible reach, but I know it’s important. Also important: to keep focus on what we know and feel, what we know inside ourselves and our families and our communities. The people in charge now can’t actually erase whole populations and our basic humanity, though it feels horrible to endure the ways they are trying to do so.

May we all be managing, somehow. May we all feel connection with others. May we all find ways to cope.

In case you need fortification, I can recommend a few bits of light:

Survival is A Promise: The Eternal Life of Audre Lorde, by Alexis Pauline Gumbs, is a magical, hybrid, vibrational masterpiece of a biography/memoir/invocation. I found it very uplifting to read right now.

Chatter, by Ethan Kross, where you can learn more self-talk and why it matters. (And there’s a brief pdf toolbox available here.)

“What it’s like to have depression — and get better,” by my friend Char Daston, this beautiful video essay is an artful and honest gift to the world.

Rehearsals for Dying, by Ariel Gore, is, among many things, a generous love letter for a dying spouse and an anti-capitalist (and illuminating) indictment of the medical industrial complex. You can pre-order it here.

Your Local Epidemiologist (Katelyn Jetelina) provides a helpful resource for health information.

(To revisit the little shopping guide of things that help me feel better, go here.)

And a couple bits from the Kuder desk:

For fans of weird fiction:
I’m thrilled to have a short story forthcoming appear in Weird Horror #10, from Undertow Publications. (You can pre-order here.) This story may be the darkest thing I’ve ever had published (good timing!). Very grateful it found a home.

To support the ACLU while you release self-doubt:
Through the end of February, I’m offering an ACLU bundle of Dear Inner Critic: a self-doubt activity book. Read more here.

Sending lots of love as we navigate the impossible. At least we have each other. So grateful.
Love,
Rebecca

WHERE TO BUY
Please visit these bookshops, or scroll down for info about how to purchase from the source:
Yellow Springs, OH Epic Book Shop or Dark Star Books
& Highland Park, IL at Secret World Books
& Easthampton, MA at Book Moon Books
& online from Literary Kitchen (check out the bundle of this year’s chapbooks!)

(Alas, this book is not available through Amazon.)

To purchase directly: $15 includes shipping (specify mailing address or local pickup) PayPal: rebecca.kuder@gmail.com Venmo: @rkuderys (last 4 digits=4484)

SPREAD THE WORD:
Would your writing group, book club, or other creative circle be interested in this book? Any teachers, therapists, or healers who might want to use these tricks? Or do you know any independent bookstores that might want to carry the book? Let me know! And post a review at Goodreads.

rebeccakuder

Get creative & get things done (ACLU fundraiser)

OFFER EXTENDED!!

Now through February 28, 2025, save money AND support the American Civil Liberties Union when you buy a 3-book bundle of Dear Inner Critic directly from me—here’s how:

1. Buy a 3-book bundle of Dear Inner Critic (a $45 value) for just $40 (see purchase info below);
2. Write “ACLU bundle” with your address (or local pickup) in the notes;
3. I will donate half of all proceeds to the ACLU.

To purchase directly from me: 

ACLU 3-book bundle: $40 (3 copies)
Or for single copies: $15 (1 copy)

PayPal:  rebeccakuder (at) gmail.com
Venmo: @rkuderys (last 4 digits=4484)

(Price includes shipping—please include mailing address, or specify local pickup if you’re near Yellow Springs, Ohio)
rebeccakuder

What will 2025 bring?

Who knows. Who knows? I sure don’t.

But here’s what I do know:

You can Join me at the Yellow Springs Library for a Dear Inner Critic workshop!
WHEN: Thursday, January 9, 5:30-7:00pm
WHERE: 415 Xenia Ave, Yellow Springs, OH 45387
MORE INFO & REGISTRATION

And if you want to meet, greet, and maybe even befriend your inner critic, check out Dear Inner Critic: a self-doubt activity book.

WHERE TO BUY:
Yellow Springs, OH Epic Book Shop or Dark Star Books
& Highland Park, IL at Secret World Books
& Easthampton, MA at Book Moon Books
& online from Literary Kitchen

(If you’ve read the book & found it helpful, please share your thoughts on Goodreads.)

rebeccakuder

A handful of things that help me feel better

When I take a bird’s eye view of things, it seems that the challenge right now (and maybe, too, the point) is to keep going.

Despite Everything.

To keep going despite Everything, despite the bloodshed and disappointment and pain and suffering and fear, and despite the uncertainty—which simmers somewhere, always, whether we feel it or not. Maybe some of us are feeling all that more keenly and clearly now.

There are a handful of items that help me keep body & soul going. They are accessible and mighty, and best of all, are made by real people doing their thing in this world with great love.

Radical Self-Love Body Butter is one of those items. Created by musician Anne Harris, this ambrosial body butter is thoughtfully sourced to honor Mother Earth. RSL Body Butter smells like a dream, so delicious that I have to stop myself spreading it on toast. (For real. Every day I’m tempted.) Instead I treat my skin to its soothing, illuminating wonders. My favorite is the Frankinsence-Geranium blend. I put it on my face before bed, and my skin is much happier.

Next is tea from CommuniTEA Love. The nourishing blends are made by mother-daughter team Amy and Modjeska Chavez. Sometimes tea is more than just tea. With each cup, you can inhale the love and care that goes into blending these healing plants. I took a bag of this blend to a writing retreat last spring. It happened that the teapot in the house was glass, which allowed us to watch the beautiful color emerge. Purple tea!

And our family’s food would be nothing without spices from Pepper Forrest Spice Company. When we order the paprika, I pause before discarding the packing envelope: I must first inhale its sunshine, and dream of the delicious soups, stews, and salads that will soon emerge in the kitchen.

Words from Ross Gay. Right now I’m reading The Catalogue Of Unabashed Gratitude. And I love, love, love (and often revisit) the Delights books. My daughter and I saw Ross Gay speak at Joseph Beth in Cincinnati last February. And then last summer, I was walking past a sidewalk cafe in my hometown and—could it be? yes!—there was the poet, sitting at a table, working. When I told him how much we appreciate his work, he was kind and gracious. (Total delight.)

Speaking of books (and their import when the world feels like it’s falling apart) this year’s chapbooks from the Literary Kitchen help me focus on how our impulse to share words, narrative, humor, and truth-telling matters. When I feel like writing isn’t enough, I can turn to these voices and stories. (My latest book is among them. Dear Inner Critic: a self-doubt activity book just had its second printing. So grateful for the Literary Kitchen & Wayward Writers.)

And here’s a little something to tuck into a pocket for moments when you are waiting at a medical appointment and want to be that one person who’s not staring at their phone. The East Village Inky by Ayun Halliday is the perfect antidote to digital inertia. Funny, wild, erudite, and hand-lettered by a human being. Imagine!

These tangibles help make life a little better.

When I can access even a shred of gratitude or optimism, it’s possible to imagine that we will make it through the challenges of these times. I have to trust that it’s possible.

Love,
Rebecca

p.s. Maybe you’re thinking about holiday gift-giving. Good! Now you have some ideas.

rebeccakuder

Open letter to Governor Dewine

November 7, 2024

Dear Governor Dewine,

I am writing about your forthcoming appointment of a person to fill the seat that will soon be vacated by Ohio Senator JD Vance.

I urge you to consider appointing Senator Sherrod Brown.

Nationally, our system of checks and balances is now unbalanced, and heavily weighted toward Republican priorities. It would be very meaningful—and a step toward fairness—to institute more balance between the parties in Ohio.

You are in a position to make this happen.

Over and over, Sherrod Brown has proven that he is all of Ohio’s senator—working for and with citizens and representatives from all over the political spectrum. He is dedicated, and has worked hard for us. His upset was a loss to everyone in Ohio.

Please think about this relatively small action that you can make in order to support a robust democracy for all the people. Sherrod Brown brings years of service and experience, which, in addition to balancing the party priorities, would balance Bernie Moreno’s inexperience in public service.

Please consider appointing Senator Sherrod Brown.

Thank you for your time and service.

Respectfully,

Rebecca Kuder

rebeccakuder

“Take our lives seriously,” said Michelle Obama

Dear friends,
I’m writing with an urgent plea about the 2024 presidential election.

For those who are unsure about which candidate to vote for…

or who don’t ‘like’ either of the two major candidates, and may be tempted to sit out…

or planning to vote for a 3rd party candidate because they want our system to offer more options…

or are hesitant to vote for Kamala Harris because they don’t 100% agree with her policies…

Please, I beg you: take time to watch Michelle Obama’s speech in Michigan at the Kamala Harris rally.

Michelle Obama spoke with such precision and passion about why this election matters, specifically for the lives of women (aka half of the electorate).

She made a beautifully compelling and airtight case for why we need to do everything in our power to prevent Trump from getting back into office, and vote for Kamala Harris.

“Take our lives seriously,” she said.

I echo that plea: TAKE OUR LIVES SERIOUSLY.

Watch the video. If you’re short on time, go to 21:45, when she speaks about womens’ health.

Here are some highlights of Michelle Obama’s speech: https://tinyurl.com/22yh3fbx

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Love,

Rebecca