Cover reveal

Thrilled to unveil the cover of my debut novel, The Eight Mile Suspended Carnival! Grateful to Ash Goodwin for design, and to Gronk for the beautiful art, and to Rod Val Moore and everyone at What Books Press. (Please treat yourself by perusing the work of Gronk!) Also grateful to the generous humans who read and provided blurbs (Jim Krusoe, Gayle Brandeis, Ariel Gore, and Nick Flynn). It takes many hands & spirits to do this work.

The novel is forthcoming in October. Stay tuned here for more information!

From Little Fires Everywhere, by Celeste Ng

This passage from Celeste Ng’s novel, Little Fires Everywhere, captures so perfectly the feeling of wanting what I know I can’t have.

“After Pearl had begun to snore softly, Mia kept her hand in place, as if she were a sculptor shaping Pearl’s shoulder blades. She could feel Pearl’s heart, ever so faintly, beating under her palm. It has been a long time since her daughter had let her be so close. Parents, she thought, learned to survive touching their children less and less. As a baby Pearl had clung to her; she’d worn Pearl in a sling because whenever she set her down, Pearl would cry. There’d scarcely been a moment in the day when they had not been pressed together. As she got older, Pearl would still cling to her mother’s leg, then her waist, then her hand, as if there were something in her mother she needed to absorb through the skin. Even when she had her own bed, she would often crawl into Mia’s in the middle of the night and burrow under the old patchwork quilt, and in the morning they would wake up tangled, Mia’s arm pinned beneath Pearl’s head, or Pearl’s legs thrown across Mia’s belly. Now, as a teenager, Pearl’s caresses had become rare—a peck on the cheek, a one-armed, half-hearted hug—and all the more precious because of that. It was the way of things, Mia thought to herself, but how hard it was. The occasional embrace, a head leaned for just a moment on your shoulder, when what you really wanted more than anything was to press them to you and hold them so tight you fused together and could never be taken apart. It was like training yourself to live on the smell of an apple alone, when what you really wanted was to devour it, to sink your teeth into it and consume it, seeds, core, and all.”

—Celeste Ng, Little Fires Everywhere (p. 248)

(Learning “to live on the smell of an apple alone” seems like the work of my current stage of motherhood.)

A SHINY POSTCARD WITH BIG NEWS!

assemblage of small items on desk, ermine, elephant, mug with tiger on it, Hans Bolling figure, clock, pencils, etc.
Step Right Up!
vintage postcard of California Alligator Farms, Los Angeles, Cal.
A Peep! A Teaser! A Glimpse Of What’s To Come…

My novel, The Eight Mile Suspended Carnival, is forthcoming from What Books Press!

It’s official!

I’m overjoyed and gobsmacked to announce that The Eight Mile Suspended Carnival is forthcoming (October 2021) from What Books Press. I’m so grateful to Rod Val Moore and Kate Haake and Gronk all who are working to make What Books Press such a fabulous collective. I’ll share more news when I can. For now, please mark your calendars for October, and get ready to enjoy the show!

p.s. No animals were harmed in the writing of this post, or the writing of this novel.

Happy new year (& here’s to good news in 2021)

photo of painting on wall, shadow of paper snowflake

Happy new year! May 2021 be gentle and kind to you, as it wipes the mess of 2020 from its shoes.

Reading my novel-in-progress, I found this bit, and I like it so thought I’d share. Completely torn from context but so what.

“In the silence, there are actually heaps to hear. Train your ears. Slow your breath until you glean what’s left. What’s been missing. The exhalation. Feel your shoulders drop. Everything you’ve been ignoring during The Disaster hasn’t disappeared. Even if it’s in the river and snagged on a rock, been taken captive, or submerged in mud, it’s still there, still out there somewhere. Maybe sleeping, maybe waiting. Maybe it’s only the bones. Maybe the next thing that happens is: whatever’s waiting wakes up.”

It’s fascinating to read through the pages of a novel I began writing in 2004 (that’s not a typo)…fascinating seeing how the “now” me filters through and makes sense of it…very strange. Like when Owl meets himself on the stairs in Arnold Lobel’s excellent book, Owl At Home. (“There must be a way,” said Owl, “to be upstairs and to be downstairs at the same time.”) I hope my next novel will take a shorter span of years, which may yield a psychically simpler writing process, I think? But this bit is new-er and informed by my fascination with embodiment, trauma, resilience, holding many things at once…etc.

(STAY TUNED because I will have some good news to share in the not too too distant future…)

belated, but still flowering

the book of flowering cover(May you be free from suffering and the root of all suffering. May you enjoy happiness and the root of all happiness.)

In the flurry of last year, I neglected to announce that THE BOOK OF FLOWERING from Egaeus Press is officially available to buy, here. My apologies for the delay! It’s a beautiful book, inside and out. My story “The Only Flower That Mattered” is included between these covers, and if you have the means, I hope you will consider supporting this lovely small press.

Below, you can read the first page of my story. I know you’ll want to read more!

1st page of Kuder story

(in which I am allowed a handful of occurrences)

IMG_5235(Serious word nerds, keep reading. The rest of you, go do something productive or take a nap.)

Final combing through of my novel, in hopes it will emerge between portable covers sooner than later.

Meanwhile, there’s a file on my computer called “overused words checklist.” It includes words I use too frequently, & passive or lazy phrases to comb for, such as “very” or “and then.” I consult this oracle when I’m nearing the end of the process. Search/replace/omit (or keep, if they seem to need to be there).

Selected statistics that impress at least me:

  • Just 1 occurrence of the word “tendril.” Because that word is at the top of my list—I used to use is excessively in a previous novel—and it’s apparently my thumbprint.
  • “Very”: Pared down from 30 to 6 “very”s, all of them falling within characters’ dialogue, sounding better left there.
  • “Thought”: pared down from 48 to 19. And zero “thought about”s. !!
  • “Felt”: down from 38 to 8. (And some signify the fabric.)
  • “Little”: Oy vey! From 64 down to 41. (In case you ever read this novel: I’m sorry. I did what I could do.)
  • “Seem” (and its variants): 54, down to 14! Some of which are parts of other words.
  • “Sigh”/ed: Bonus points for only having 8 occurrences to start with! Hell, I could leave them all in there. But why not pare down. Except I had to add 2 more. Still, 10 of 79,000 words is not that bad. (She sighed.)