I’m very grateful to the fabulous Diane Gottlieb for taking time to interview me in this life-affirming conversation about writing, mental health, trauma, bodies, and the inner critic! Please do check out the interview at WomanPause. (Thanks, Diane!)
Before an inner critic workshop with my 9th grade class, I thought I’d look for a poem to read while we did power poses—something to fill the awkward moment of power posing in a room full of teenagers, something for inspiration. I took my copy of The Gift, by Hafiz, and I opened to this poem.
This was not active looking. I had not read this poem before. I could not have found a more perfect poem if I had actively looked.
The universe will provide! (And I’m eternally grateful to my friend Pegah for giving me this book!)
CROOKED DEALS by Hafiz (translated by Daniel Landinsky, in The Gift) There is A madman inside of you Who is always running for office— Why vote him in, For he never keeps the accounts straight. He gets all kinds of crooked deals Happening all over town That will just give you a big headache And glue to your kisser A gigantic Confused Frown.
Dear readers,
Here’s a little something I did with the middle school students this week. I thought you might like it, too.
You can do this exercise as often as you want to. Also, you can take more time with any step if you would like to, but the idea here is that you don’t need a lot of time to have fun & decrease the self-doubt.
Love,
Rebecca
p.s.If you try this, let me know how it goes! And to read more about my work with the inner critic, go here.
**
INTRO: What is the inner critic? (Because people sometimes ask.)
It’s fine—and sometimes helpful—to have the part of yourself who edits, who helps make sure you are safe. But we’re dealing with the part that isn’t helpful: that voice that gets in your way, or makes you feel small, or stuck, or makes you doubt yourself. Sometimes my inner critic tells me I’m not good enough. Or says, “Who do you think you are?”
Exercise:
1. Take a piece of paper. 30 seconds: Imagine the inner critic as a character. It could be a ball of cat hair, a building, a monster, whatever—take 30 seconds to draw a picture of the inner critic. Keep drawing for the entire time.
2. 30 seconds: (As you are able) Stand up, close your eyes, do a power pose—WONDER WOMAN is one option (feet shoulder width apart, hands on hips)
3. 4 minutes: Turn the page over: Write a letter: Dear Inner Critic…and keep writing for 4 minutes. You can say anything! You can use bad words! If you run out of things to say, write the words tick tick tick until you think of something else to say. You never have to show anyone this letter unless you want to. At the end, sign your name.
I haven’t made time to post lately, but here’s a short list of books I’ve enjoyed recently. Enjoy!
Banish Your Inner Critic by Denise Jacobs
Salt by Renee Ashley
Another Phase by Eloise Klein Healy
Bone Black by bell hooks
Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
Family Trouble edited by Joy Castro
We Were Witches by Ariel Gore
Don’t Let’s Go To The Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller
Drum Roll, Please by Lisa Jenn Bigelow
Rebecca Kuder is offering this engaging workshop that will allow people to rediscover and liberate a sense of play; unleash the creative spark; and demystify & disarm the inner critical voice that’s holding us back! Please wear comfortable clothing (always!). Please bring pen and paper.
This is NOT just for writers! This is for anyone who wants to tone down self-doubt and find more joy in life.
National November Novel Writing Month is right around the corner! Novelist Rebecca Kuder leads you in several creative writing exercises to help inspire your inner author. Please bring a pen and notebook.
Learn methods for revision and editing of creative work, and find out what steps you need to take to get published. Rebecca Kuder returns to answer your questions. Please bring a pen and notebook, though we will have some supplies on hand. Registration required. To register: https://preview.tinyurl.com/ycqwlkj9
Rebecca Kuder’s short story, “Curb Day,” was chosen for reprint in Year’s Best Weird Fiction vol. 5. Her essays and stories have appeared in Tiferet Journal, Shadows and Tall Trees, Jaded Ibis Press, Lunch Ticket, and The Rumpus. In addition to leading community workshops, Rebecca taught creative writing at Antioch University Midwest, Antioch College, and The Modern School of Design. Currently she teaches at Stivers School for the Arts in Dayton. She served on the board of the Antioch Writers’ Workshop, and lives in Yellow Springs, Ohio, with her husband, the writer Robert Freeman Wexler, and their daughter. Rebecca holds an MFA from Antioch University Los Angeles, is a recipient of an individual excellence award from the Ohio Arts Council, and blogs at www.rebeccakuder.com.
From Page 131:
“You may feel uncomfortable with the word
‘authority.’
Perhaps is sounds dominant, overbearing, ‘authoritarian.’ You may need to work on the problem of self-deprecation,
Self-distrust,
Especially when it comes to noticing the world around you
And what you’re able to say about it.
You may be used to denying your perceptions and dismissing your awareness.
You may be caught in a constant state of demurral
Or have the habit of belittling yourself.
Watch for the chronic language of self-disparagement,
The moments when you say, ‘My problem is…’
Or ‘It doesn’t matter what I think.’
If you say these kinds of things, you probably say them out of habit, almost unconsciously.
This is a product of your education too, at home and at school.
Pay attention to it.
Recognize how harmful it is.
Its message—subliminal and overt—is that your perceptions are worthless.
Do everything you can to subvert this habit.”
I’m so grateful that Antioch University asked me what the Ohio Arts Council grant means to me. You can read the interview here.
I am putting this here so you all can read it, and so I can remember it, because it’s wise and true:
Connie Schultz, giving the keynote speech for this year’s Antioch Writers’ Workshop, said:
“The first one who needs to believe you are a writer is you. Writing is a head game.”
Please spread the word! It’s going to be fun!
For more info: https://greenelibrary.bibliocommons.com/events/search/fq=types:(5a65fa90866d942f009e3ae4)/event/5b5c9ebe31b1973100abb846
Rebecca Kuder is offering this engaging workshop that will allow people to rediscover and liberate a sense of play; unleash the creative spark; and demystify & disarm the inner critical voice that’s holding us back! Please wear comfortable clothing (always!). Please bring pen and paper.
Rebecca Kuder 